Friday, December 24, 2010

Family: the most important element. What Teens Want

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Sisters enjoying a moment of laughter

by Linda Shaw?

Family: The Most Important Element

What Teens Want


Gifts, styles, transportation, and the way we communicate all take on new modes, but feelings about families seem to remain constant. A recent poll from April of 2010 showed that 89 percent of those polled reacted positively to the term “family values”. Additionally in an October 2010 poll?76 percent of those polled responded to the statement: family represents “the most important element of my life.” Comparatively, only one percent of this poll responded that family was “not an important element of my life.”

Recently while visiting my own parents, I read a 1997 Readers Digest article entitled “What Teens Really Want,” by Rachel Wildavsky. 1022 teens between the ages of 16-18 were asked what they valued and their views on family. 76 percent believed their values were pretty much the same as their parents, and 96 percent expected to marry. When asked what they wanted out of life or what brought them the most satisfaction, 91 percent responded to “having a good marriage,” and 94 percent chose “raising healthy and happy children.” Other poll choices included: earning lots of money (28%), making a name for yourself (33%), being active in your community (38%), and having plenty of recreational time (42%).

As I read the article I was struck that even though times have changed, and parents are often overwhelmed by the societal empowerment of teens, teens still basically want to belong to family. They understand that family is not about a Hollywood ending where romance and fairy-tale endings make us walk away feeling wonderful, but questioning our own family reality. Nor does it need to be defined by material possessions, income, or even education. Family is about connecting with one another, no matter how hard times may be.

All families go through difficult times. ?Seventeen-year-old (in 1997) Jon Stokes of Dallas said that he learned a realistic lesson from his parents’ tenacious marriage. He said,

“Marriage isn’t all romance and lovey-dovey. You commit to staying through the bad times and you share your life. You think about your actions and you share your obligations.”


As the Christmas season wraps around me, I have been able to consider this “most important element” of my life. I am thankful for my teen -age son, and his older siblings. I am thankful for his love of tradition, and of how he seeks always to remind me to take time to create those “special moments.”
He has reminded me that Christmas isn’t about giving our teens what peer pressure demands of them or helping them keep abreast of the newest trends, it’s really about family and the emotional connections we make at this time of year.

Is it any wonder that Christianity began with a family, or that we associate the giving of gifts with family togetherness? Prophets have long proclaimed the importance of family and its role upon society. Is it any wonder that the Son of God chose to come to us, and to give us his example, through a family?

It is my wish that as the Christmas season draws itself around you, that you might understand the elemental love that families bring to all of us. That you won't worry about the many?inconsequential moments, but remember the most important element, to the most important moments of your life, those found within your family.

Merry Christmas.

Have you asked your teen what he values most?

Have you asked your teen about his values?

Source:
Roper Center for Public


Wildavsky, Rachel, and Nigel Holmes. "What Teens Really Want."?Readers Digest?(1997): 50-57. Print.c Opinion?75th Anniversary Edition?


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How a Reminiscence Foam Neck Pillow Can Give You a Great Night’s Get to sleep

Have you worked for hours and hours and when you get house all you would like to do is get to sleep? And also right after an extended night snooze you even now really feel tired and tensed in the morning?

Numerous of people today nowadays have experienced that at least once in their lifetime. People have slept for several hours but still get up drained and agitated. What is worse is that they awaken having a headache and neck agony. That’s since their slumber was not comfortable. For the whole period of their get to sleep, there was no adequate support to their neck and head. If you might be 1 of them, you should alter your mattress pillow into a reminiscence foam neck pillow.

A memory space foam neck pillow can be a particular type of pillow that shapes and molds itself for the framework with the head and neck. This is best to assist you maintain a great posture even if you are lying on bed either in your back or on your side. It truly is essential to sustain a good alignment of one’s nck and backbone when sleeping. You should not snooze with your nck twisted because in the morning your nck will be sore and really agonizing.

The memory foam nck pillow uses pressure relieving material which has the capacity to perfectly conform itself to the shape of the neck so it offers your neck and spine with maximum consolation. It can be intended to cradle your nck and support your head. It really is created with high quality visco-elastic storage foam. Its visco-elasticity property reacts to human body heat and molds its shape towards the shape of your mind and nck. This pillow becomes soft where your system temperature is warm and denser.

What’s very good thing about this nck pillow is that it is light and portable. It’s possible to bring it anywhere you would like. At times you don’t get the correct pillow once you travel or stay in hotels. Now you do not have to be concerned about sleepless nights in foreign territory. Just bring your storage foam pillow. It is a pillow that comforts and supports.
For you to appreciate your sleep and get up relieved and energized, you must take distinct attention to your comfort throughout get to sleep. NCK pain is, painful. Constant nck ache is irritating and it prevents you from carrying out activities at home or in the workplace. It truly is extremely distracting and disrupts your concentration. Try the memory space foam nck pillow which will surely allow you to have a lengthy, good night’s sleep and most importantly, wake up refreshed and ready to begin a new day.

If you are looking for the best memory foam neck pillow, make sure you visit PillowsPillows.com for the best reviews of high quality pillows like the back support pillow.

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New Age Hmong- What on earth is New Age Hmong?

New Age Hmong identifies a Hmong individual who isn’t scared to shatter old fashioned and cultural boundaries. Hmong-American or not, it’s obvious that things are changing which New Age Hmong phenomenon is going to steer the way for many existing Hmong to remain one as well as interconnected through the web. New Age Hmong is actually a brand spanking fresh social media internet site catering to the online Hmong Group.

The Chief executive officer and Co-founder is actually a Hmong woman in her late Twenties. Her name is Celine M. Lee. Celine’s objective will be to produce a motion in order to transform the social media experiences for the Hmong Community. New Age Hmong is special from the numerous already-in-existence Hmong social media internet sites. Presently, many if not just about all, of the Hmong social websites internet sites provide two typical functions: forum plus chat. New Age Hmong provides a lot more functions.

New Age Hmong is actually a mixture of facebook and youtube among additional amazing functions not pointed out at the moment. Whether folks wish to believe it or not, social websites internet sites function one main objective: networking. New Age Hmong is not an exclusion. New Age Hmong is free of charge to register for a new user profile. Members will surely have their own user profile site exhibiting their own personal and professional info. Members may also produce their own web page that is certainly in a way their very own site with any desirable content material that they select to put up, whether it be audio tracks, article writing, and or online video.

Another amazing function for users is that they can also add unique applications for example video games, video conversation, online business, plus much more on to their own web page to ensure that anybody going to their own web page can not only discover more about a selected fellow member, but also amuse themselves with these applications. New Age Hmong additionally has month-to-month competitions along with campaigns of it’s users that have got a unique expertise. For example, if you are an ambitious music artist, you are able to publish your expertise video and when it’s the winner for the competition, you’ll obtain 1 month totally free publicity on the front and homepage of New Age Hmong. That is amazing! New Age Hmong is another site for business owners to display their own investment portfolios. Members can easily publish their own portfolios on their own webpages and formulate a following of admirers of their occupation.

So as you can tell, not only is New Age Hmong an internet site for social networking, it’s also for small business networking. As stated previously, most if not all, Hmong social media websites provide two primary capabilities: forum and chat. New Age Hmong has video chat features, conventional chat, message discussion board, status changes ( what you really are doing at this time), upload/manage files, and just a lot more! It will surely transform the social media experiences.

Celine M. Lee has a B.A. in Psychology and is on a quest to inspire Hmong community people by assisting them recognize their own real life possibilities. Not only is she the actual Chief executive officer of New Age Hmong, she is also a loving mother to two kids and a compassionate spouse. You could be a component of the Initiative by using New Age Hmong by Clicking Here!

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Applying "Good, Better, Best" to Christmas Break

“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”

-Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Christmas break has come and with that brings many things, but most of all it brings: our children being around when they are otherwise absent and the preparations for Christmas (Christmas dinner, presents, neighbor gifts, guests, etc.). We have all of these things condensed into a few days and even though we have been working to get the preparations finished we know there are last minutes things that fill up each and every day.

I find myself thinking that it is all right to focus on the Christmas preparations because it is for my child. They will be happy when Christmas morning rolls around and I completed all I set out to do.

Consider, though how good Christmas preparations and gifts can be, but how great memories are. Take some time to reconsider what has to be done and when. Can that gift wrapping wait until your little ones are sleeping so that you can go play in the snow together? Can the cookies be baked as a family after dinner instead of having your kids entertain themselves so you can “just get them done”? Can a note be written to a neighbor that expresses kindness rather than a gift that has to be made so you can spend more time with your children and less time baking, crafting, wrapping, etcetera?

I speak of Christmas because that is the pressing event, but bringing this to your life each day – thinking in terms of good, better, and best always will bring a richness, fulfillment and peace to our lives. I don’t believe this peace can come if we find things to busy ourselves that are good but ignore the best blessing we have been given – our children.

Each and every day I find things I “have to do” that are often really wants. I make myself busier than I need to be, or in hopes of saving time I do things alone rather than with my child that might be fun and/or a learning experience for them if I would just take the time.

Besides the benefit for our children of us focusing more on the best activities and duties, we will find a great benefit for ourselves. I am never more lighthearted and happy than when I have spent an hour just playing in my child’s room with them. I feel rejuvenated after running around outside and getting fresh air. I feel immeasurable joy when I hear that little baby laugh that can be so hard to coax out.

Consider this Christmas time as an opportunity to really challenge yourself to choose the best each day over the good. It is not a question of being wrong when we choose the good but it is a question of joy, quality time, and memories when we choose the best – when we choose our children.

Do you find it difficult to let go of the good in favor of the best? Why do you think it can be so difficult to do this?


By Brooke
http://returntosimplertimes.blogspot.com
http://writerswriteon.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Understanding Why Your Child May Be Impatient

Have you ever asked your child to wait? Especially for something exciting, like their birthday, a visit from friends or family, or an activity. What is their usual reaction when you ask them to wait? Probably negatively.? Have you ever wondered why this may be?

The best thing to do is to try and consider what it is like being in your child’s shoes.? This way you will have an idea about what your child is feeling and thinking. So that you can answer the question “what does your child think when you tell them to wait?”

Let’s do some math, so that we can try and figure out what your child is going through when you ask them to wait. Let’s assume you are 30, and your child is two.

If your child is two, they are (for simplicities sake) 730 days old. Or even 17520 hours old. What does it mean to them when you ask them to wait until tonight, or tomorrow, or next week.

Asking them to wait 2 hours is 0.00011 of their life.

Asking them to wait 12 hours is 0.00068 of their life.

Asking them to wait 1 day is 0.00137 of their life.

Asking them to wait 1 week is 0.00959 of their life.

That doesn’t seem like a lot, none are even a full 1% of their life.? But your child is two, and they are perceiving this world through their two year old eyes, and their two year old life.

So lets understand what your child interprets those wait times into some sort of meaning by putting you, the parent, it their shoes.

Again, lets assume you are 30 years old, or 10950 days old.

So when you ask them to wait 2 hours, it is like asking you to wait 1 day.

When you ask your child to wait 12 hours, it is like asking you to wait 7.5 days.

When you ask your child to wait one day, it is like you waiting 15 days.

Lastly, when you ask your child to wait a week, it is like you waiting 105 days, about 15 weeks, or 3.5 months.

Are you patient when you are told to wait 1 day, 7 days, 15 days, or 105 days? Especially when it is something you are looking forward to. Probably not, because those are long waiting periods for us as adults!?

When we see the world through our eyes and ask our child to wait 12 hours, it is a short time period for us, but not for them. Remember 2 hours of waiting for them is 1 day of waiting for us, 12 hours is 7.5 days, 1 day is 15 days, and 1 week is 3.5 months.

Hopefully now you will have a little understanding of why your child may be so impatient and frustrated when you ask them to wait for something important to them, it is a long time in their little life.

Written by:

Josh Lockhart

.....is Locking Hearts Together


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Divorce and Child Well-Being: What Research Tells Us

Probably one of the most commonly asked questions of child development and family studies researchers is, "What is the effect of divorce on kids?" This is a topic that hits home for many of us. If your family hasn't experienced divorce, you probably know someone in your extended family or friends that has experienced it. Luckily, there has been a growing body of research addressing this issue over the past 30-40 years. We have learned a lot, but as with most research of this kind, the answers are not clear cut. Here's a little of what we know:

  • It doesn’t mean that if you (or your children) experienced divorce, you (or they) will inevitably have adjustment problems (findings do not generalize to the individual level)
  • It doesn’t mean that divorce is inconsequential for children
  • It does mean that although the majority of children of divorce will not experience adjustment problems, they are at higher risk for doing so

So, now that we know there is a connection between divorce and children being at greater risk for adjustment problems, the question is, "Why is there this connection?" Is the conflict between the parents that often precedes divorce the source of the problem for kids? Or is it the act of divorce itself; that is, the physical separation of the family?

Fortunately two well-known researchers addressed this topic in a research article several years ago. They analyzed many different studies of the effects of divorce on children and compiled the findings into one article.

These authors focused on three main theoretical explanations for why there is a link between divorce and children's adjustment problems:

1. Parental absence. After divorce, contact with non-custodial parent often lessens. Additionally, the custodial parent has less time/energy due to labor force participation.

  • As a result, children may receive less monitoring, attention, and help and this, in turn, may lead to academic problems, low-self-esteem, misbehavior

2. Economic disadvantage. Divorce typically leads to decline in standard of living because mothers are more likely to get custody and women many times make less money than men. Additionally many families go from two incomes prior to divorce to just one income after divorce.

  • Lack of economic resources may lead to poorer nutrition, health, less effective schools, fewer lessons, educational toys, etc.

3. Family conflict. Stress and conflict that coexist with divorce create a less than optimal environment for children; stress makes parents less effective in dealing with children.

  • Divorce affects kids not because of structure change but because of accompanying conflict—stress affects parenting and kids may be drawn into conflict

The overall findings of the study included:

  • Children of divorce do experience lower levels of well-being than children of intact families, however, the differences aren't huge
  • Very few differences by sex of the child
  • Largest differences between families seen in elementary and high school age children

I won't go into all the evidence for each of the three theories, but the study showed most support for theory #3 Family Conflict.

  • First, children in high-conflict intact families exhibited worse well-being than those in low-conflict intact families.
  • Second, and most importantly, children in high-conflict intact families also exhibited worse well-being than those in divorced families

Thus, it seems most likely that the conflict between parents (that often accompanies divorce) is what has the most impact on children's well-being, not the physical act of the divorce.

What does this mean?

  • If divorce would diminish family conflict and positive parenting can be maintained, children from divorced families will likely be well-adjusted
  • It seems the key, as is the case with many family changes, is for parents to maintain positive interactions with their children. This is often difficult in divorce as the stress of the situation makes parents more likely to be short-tempered and edgy. If positive parenting can be prioritized, however, children from divorced families can fare well.

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